I’ve never really thought of myself as a happy-go-lucky sort of person but, you know what, maybe I am. I just take things as they come and, usually, I’m pretty happy with how it all works out in the end. I don’t make big plans for the future and I never make resolutions. I know I’ll never stick to them, so what’s the point?
I was going to fill this post with all the things I’m unhappy with at the moment, and how I want them to change this year. But when I started writing it I realised that actually I wasn’t all that unhappy at all. Yes, I want a new job and to be a stone lighter and to be more confident and to save up some money and to go on a great transatlantic adventure and to organise my life. But there’s no use writing a list of resolutions that will remain untouched for the next twelve months, instead I’ll just take each day as it comes and take opportunities as they meander into my life. I’ll live by that old wisdom “whit’s fur ye’ll no go by ye”. I hope the things I’m not so satisfied with will be different by this time next year, but in the meantime I’ll just be grateful for every day as it is. I’m lucky to have great friends and great family, to wake up every morning in my very favourite city, to be independent and intelligent and altogether not a completely terrible person.
It’s so silly to feel old at 23, and, although I definitely do feel it at times, I need to remind myself that I’m not old. It’s around this age that everyone suddenly seems to be getting married, having babies, buying houses. It’s pretty disheartening always being the one who can’t find a job, the one who’s going to be renting indefinitely, the one who can barely fathom having a long-term boyfriend never mind getting married. But the world is still my oyster, if you will. I can stay out until 5am and have one too many drinks and kiss one too many boys, if I want to. I can squander my money on pretty dresses and garishly pink lipstick instead of mortgage bills. I can spend entire days reading books, curled up in my bed by myself. I can catch a train or a bus or a plane and go anywhere I want to go, even just for the afternoon. Sometimes just knowing I can do all these things is enough.
So, no, I won’t be making any resolutions this year. I just hope my year is filled with “magic and dreams and good madness”. I hope I surprise myself, and I hope life surprises me too. And that’s all I can ask for, really.
I hope your 2014 is just how you’d like it to be, too.