[CLOSED] Competition: Win Benefit Cosmetics with Benefit & Funny Women


benefit 4
"Laughter is the best cosmetic, so grin and wear it!" // They're Real mascara and The Porefessional primer*

Please note this competition is now closed. Thanks for all your entries!

This year Benefit Cosmetics have teamed up with Funny Women, leading female comedy producer, to put on a fantastic show at the Edinburgh Fringe. Funny Women at the Fringe are putting on a range of events showcasing female comedy talent throughout the festival, helped by the Benefit team and their Benebus! If you're in Edinburgh you can find the Benebus parked beside George Square Gardens, with the Benefit ladies giving out complimentary 'make-uppers' and goodie bags. The Funny Women shows will be on at the Bosco-Assembly Theatre (George Square) from the 3rd to the 26th August between 2-3pm. I will definitely be heading along to watch the semi-finals of this year's Funny Women Awards on the 8th of August, I can't wait! Any other Scottish bloggers heading along?

Sadly many of you won't be able to make it to the Benebus though, which is where this competition comes in! If you fancy winning yourself some Benefit goodies, all you have to do is tell me your best joke. It can be about anything, just make sure it's funny! I'll choose my favourite two jokes at the end of the competition, and pass your details on to the Benefit ladies so they can send you your prize. Make sure you read the following quick rules before you enter:

1. The competition will be open for one week, and will close at midnight on Tuesday 7th August.
2. Please leave your email and/or blog address so I can contact you if you win.
3. You must be a follower of my blog, either through Google Friend Connect or Bloglovin.
4. Open to international readers - anyone can enter!
5. There will be two winners. You may enter more than once if you think of another excellent joke, but you can only win once.

The lovely Jasmine from Benefit sent me a couple of products to try out, and I can confirm that both They're Real and The Porefessional (which now has new Spygal packaging) are brilliant. So if you'd like to win yourself some similar goodies, just leave a comment with your favourite joke! Here's one to start you off: why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. BOOM.

Go, go, funny ladies!

Gillian x


  1. tenmincuttingshort@hotmail.de


  2. What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' catholic. I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled for the benebus next time I'm in town! x

  3. Ok my fav joke atm may not come across in written form but if you re tell it to someone in person it'll get a chuckle.

    What's the most important thing about telling a joke?Timing! ey ey ;)


  4. I like "Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?" Tequila! (works best when said aloud! ;)

    Maria xxx

    P.S. Blog is www.frillsnspills.com :)

  5. What's the best cheese for enticing a bear? .. Camembert! (another one you need to say outloud!) Xx


  6. What's brown and sticky?
    A stick

    Badum-tshhh :)


  7. An amnesiac walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you today?" The amnesiac says, "I don't know, I have trouble remembering things." The bartender says, "Like what?"

  8. ♥ I apologise in advance....

    Patient - "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum"
    Doctor - "I've got some cream for that"

  9. Oh I would love to be entered! I follow via GFC as courtzz.

    Beautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.

    c.childs@live.co.uk xx

  10. lesleyta@ymail.com

    The British are such polite, gracious Olympic hosts. So then why is Greenwich Time so horribly mean?

  11. Ooooooo! So glad to be in Edinburgh, will head along to the Benebus! Hadn't heard of the Funny Women shows but will definitely check them out! I love the Fringe - my favourite time of the year!
    Lianne x

  12. What's the best type of cheese for tempting a bear out of a cave? Camembert! (Best said out-loud!)


  13. My computer told me I needed to choose a password with eight characters...so I chose 'Snow White and the seven dwarves'. Boom boom! I could now use some make-up to cover my blushes...!


  14. A farmer heard giggling & splashing from his pond, so bucket in hand, he went to look what it was. He saw naked girls frolicking about. They saw him, and bobbed under the water calling out to him that he would not make them come out while he was there. He relied, 'No problem. I only came down to feed the alligator!'

  15. before I was young and pretty, now just pretty

  16. Two Cannibals eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks "Do you think this tastes funny?"

  17. Why wouldn't the shrimp share his sweets?
    Because he was a little shell fish!


  18. What do you get if you cross the Queen with Prince Phillip?

    Killed in a tunnel.

    Ok I stole it and it is controversial. But come on, that's funny........!?


  19. What do you call someone else's cheese? Nacho cheese! ;D

    I follow via bloglovin


    Sorry for the poor joke, but thanks for the awesome giveaway!

  20. A bear walked into a bar and said "Hello Mr Barman, I'd like a pint of John Smiths and.............................A Carling"
    The barman answered "why the long pause?"

    The bear did a double handed wave, "What these? Had 'em all me life!!"

    Sounds better with a cuddly bear voice!!


  21. oooh and my email is eloise@frolicsandfashion.com xxx

  22. Ok one more: "When my wife told me she was leaving me due to my obsession with the monkees I thought she was joking....and then I saw her face"

  23. Q: What did 0 say to 8?
    A: Nice belt!


  24. What's brown and sticky?
    Answer - A stick

    1. email address is juliedee4663@hotmail.com

  25. What do you get if you sit under a cow?
    A pat on the head!

    Aimee x

  26. I asked a Scottish lady "Were you a spotty teenager?" She replied "Ac ne!"

  27. Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To visit his flatmate. Hahaha gets me every time. Even though I LOVE hedgehogs :)

    I follow via Bloglovin'


  28. Whats a pirates favourite letter?


    I follow your blog @jen1984j

  29. Hi my boyfriend was in Edinburgh thought out the weekend and I have asked to walk past the Gorge Square Gardens so he could pick up a goody bag for me since I couldn't be there but when he got there they said that they are not giving away any
    complimentary 'make-uppers' or goodie bags... ? I'm just a bit disappointed because I was hoping for one after reading this post and I was so excited that my boyfriend was able to pick one up but they weren't doing that ? :( xx

    1. Hello! :) I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid I don't actually know much about the process - I haven't even had time to go to the Benebus myself yet! I would imagine that the Benefit ladies would only be able to give makeuppers and goodie bags to people that turned up to the Benebus in person, otherwise they would potentially have to give out hundreds of goodie bags to people who hadn't even gone to festival! I know it's a bit disappointing, but I suppose it's only fair! x

  30. What did the cake say to the knife?
    Do you want a piece of me?
    clare davies x_nemo_x@btinternet.com - following under x_x_clare_x_x my twitter name

  31. A white horse walks into a pub and orders a pint. The barman says, "Hey, there's another pub down the road named after you!". The horse turns to him and says, "What, there's a pub named Kev?!"

    I follow your blog through Bloglovin.

  32. Ah, I literally had no idea about this and I'm still looking for decent things to go and see so I'll probably head along. Living in the burgh during the festival definitely has its benefits :p


  33. How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke-im-on... ahem.. :/ hahah

    I follow you on GFC.

    Contact: @LooweezBx on twitter

  34. Why did the chicken dating agency go bankrupt?
    Because they couldn't make ends meet.

  35. What do you get if you Batman and Robin get crushed by a huge rock?

  36. man goes into a bar and two workmen are already there at the bar, one of the workmen says to the other 'oy donkey get me a pint' and goes off to the loo, while he is gone the man asks the workman why he calls him donkey and he says 'ewawww ewawww ewallways calls me that'

  37. Why did the mushroom go to the party?
    Because he was a @fun gi!

  38. Jenny heard milk baths will make her beautiful so asks the milkman for 120 pints of milk. The milkman thinks there's a mistake so says, "Do you mean 12 pints?" Jenny answers, "No, I want 120, I’m going to fill my bath with milk." "Pasteurised?" asks the milkman. "No," Jenny says, "Just past my boobs."

    I follow via bloglovin and gfc.

  39. Two fish in a tank, one says to the other, "how do you drive this thing?"


  40. 'I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.'


  41. What do you call 2 lines of cabbages?
    A dual cabbage way...



  42. A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.



  43. Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
    For the Drizzle
    Following GFC

  44. Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?

    .... A carrot!


  45. I love cheese jokes...

    What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
    Nacho cheese!

    I'll definitely need to check out the Benebus! I'm following on GFC & my email is thisisjuliet@gmail.com x

  46. it's abit of a long one........

    how do you get a giraffe in the fridge in three steps? - open the door, put him in, shut the door.

    how do you put an elephant in the fridge in four steps? - open the door, take the giraffe out, shut the door

    all the animals in the kingdom are having a party, which animal doesn't come? the elephant, because he's still in the fridge

    on the way to the party, you come across a crocodile infested lake, how do you get across? just swim because all the crocodiles are at the party!!!


  47. I was using my laptop on a boat the other day, but I accidentally dropped it into the sea.
    Now it's a Dell, rolling in the deep.


  48. Following you via GFC: Lisa

    How does an elephant hide in the jungle? He paints his privates red, and climbs up a cherry tree.


  49. I could never kill a spider in the bath....I wait 'til his guard is down and he's blow-drying his hair afterwards

    Already following you via GFC :)

    rachelprior21@gmail.com xx

  50. slourobinson at gmail.com

    A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
    As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
    beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
    are both quite startled.

    The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
    your breast, I know you'll forgive me."

    She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436.

  51. my fave (silly) joke

    What's pink & fluffy..

    Pink fluff


  52. Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.


    Great blog :) glad I found it!

  53. Thanks for the giveaway and the wonderful blog - amilucky2(at)tiscali(dot)co(dot)uk

  54. Laura following you on GFC.


    How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You Pokemon.

  55. Where does the one legged waitress work?
    The Ihop :)

    Following via gfc

  56. Im rubbish at jokes but my 8yo sons favourite is

    Where do you find a dog with no legs/
    Where you left him

    Cheesy but he always makes me laugh

  57. I will tell you the joke that has made me laugh most in the whole of my life ever.

    'There were two pies in the oven, one pie turned to the other one and said "phew! it is hot in here!" the other pie turned around and said..."OH MY FUCKING GOD A TALKING PIE!"



  58. OH AND ALSO.

    What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? 'Get in the car, Robin.'


  59. This is one of my favourite jokes:

    So there's this nun, taking a bath, and a knock comes on the door. She says, "Who is it?" And the reply comes, "It's the Blind-Man, can I come in?" She thinks for a minute and says, "Yes, alright then. Come in." So this chap comes in and says, "Nice tits; where do you want me to hang the blind?" lol


  60. I bought 2 litres of Tippex last week - BIG MISTAKE!
    Following your blog, @TrishO1

  61. What do you call a man with no shins?

    Tony! Hahahahaha Xx


  62. Whats big red and eats rocks ? A big red rock eater ( thats my child friendly fave) ORRRRR

    I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog! It was a shitzu :(

    I daren't go with any of the rude ones my boyfriend is reciting sat next to me!



Thank you for your comments! If you'd like to chat, feel free to tweet me @elevatormusik or join me on facebook. x