"Laughter is the best cosmetic, so grin and wear it!" // They're Real mascara and The Porefessional primer*
Please note this competition is now closed. Thanks for all your entries!
Sadly many of you won't be able to make it to the Benebus though, which is where this competition comes in! If you fancy winning yourself some Benefit goodies, all you have to do is tell me your best joke. It can be about anything, just make sure it's funny! I'll choose my favourite two jokes at the end of the competition, and pass your details on to the Benefit ladies so they can send you your prize. Make sure you read the following quick rules before you enter:
1. The competition will be open for one week, and will close at midnight on Tuesday 7th August.
2. Please leave your email and/or blog address so I can contact you if you win.
3. You must be a follower of my blog, either through Google Friend Connect or Bloglovin.
4. Open to international readers - anyone can enter!
5. There will be two winners. You may enter more than once if you think of another excellent joke, but you can only win once.
The lovely Jasmine from Benefit sent me a couple of products to try out, and I can confirm that both They're Real and The Porefessional (which now has new Spygal packaging) are brilliant. So if you'd like to win yourself some similar goodies, just leave a comment with your favourite joke! Here's one to start you off: why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. BOOM.
Go, go, funny ladies!
Gillian x
tenmincuttingshort@hotmail.de
ReplyDeleteoldcaledonia.blogspot.com
What do you call a sleep walking nun? A roamin' catholic. I'll definitely keep my eyes peeled for the benebus next time I'm in town! x
ReplyDeleteOk my fav joke atm may not come across in written form but if you re tell it to someone in person it'll get a chuckle.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the most important thing about telling a joke?Timing! ey ey ;)
http://www.rafflesbizarre.blogspot.com
I like "Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?" Tequila! (works best when said aloud! ;)
ReplyDeleteMaria xxx
P.S. Blog is www.frillsnspills.com :)
What's the best cheese for enticing a bear? .. Camembert! (another one you need to say outloud!) Xx
ReplyDeletehttp://thefuturesginger.blogspot.co.uk/
What's brown and sticky?
ReplyDeleteA stick
Badum-tshhh :)
jrdx.blogspot.com
An amnesiac walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What can I get you today?" The amnesiac says, "I don't know, I have trouble remembering things." The bartender says, "Like what?"
ReplyDelete;-)
@WrightyH
♥ I apologise in advance....
ReplyDeletePatient - "Doctor, I've got a strawberry stuck up my bum"
Doctor - "I've got some cream for that"
Oh I would love to be entered! I follow via GFC as courtzz.
ReplyDeleteBeautician: Did that mud pack I gave you for your girlfriend improve her appearance? Man: It did for a while - then it fell off.
c.childs@live.co.uk xx
helenvo.m@gmail.com
ReplyDeletelesleyta@ymail.com
ReplyDeleteThe British are such polite, gracious Olympic hosts. So then why is Greenwich Time so horribly mean?
Ooooooo! So glad to be in Edinburgh, will head along to the Benebus! Hadn't heard of the Funny Women shows but will definitely check them out! I love the Fringe - my favourite time of the year!
ReplyDeleteLianne x
rubyrubyslippers.blogspot.com
What's the best type of cheese for tempting a bear out of a cave? Camembert! (Best said out-loud!)
ReplyDeletesparkly.kisses@hotmail.co.uk
My computer told me I needed to choose a password with eight characters...so I chose 'Snow White and the seven dwarves'. Boom boom! I could now use some make-up to cover my blushes...!
ReplyDeleteSanguista@yahoo.com
A farmer heard giggling & splashing from his pond, so bucket in hand, he went to look what it was. He saw naked girls frolicking about. They saw him, and bobbed under the water calling out to him that he would not make them come out while he was there. He relied, 'No problem. I only came down to feed the alligator!'
ReplyDeletejaj08@hotmail.co.uk
before I was young and pretty, now just pretty
ReplyDeleteTwo Cannibals eating a clown. One turns to the other and asks "Do you think this tastes funny?"
ReplyDeleteWhy wouldn't the shrimp share his sweets?
ReplyDeleteBecause he was a little shell fish!
delly981@o2.co.uk
What do you get if you cross the Queen with Prince Phillip?
ReplyDeleteKilled in a tunnel.
Ok I stole it and it is controversial. But come on, that's funny........!?
www.dawniepopsies.blogspot.com
What do you call someone else's cheese? Nacho cheese! ;D
ReplyDeleteI follow via bloglovin
georgiarle4@gmail.com
Sorry for the poor joke, but thanks for the awesome giveaway!
A bear walked into a bar and said "Hello Mr Barman, I'd like a pint of John Smiths and.............................A Carling"
ReplyDeleteThe barman answered "why the long pause?"
The bear did a double handed wave, "What these? Had 'em all me life!!"
Sounds better with a cuddly bear voice!!
xx
oooh and my email is eloise@frolicsandfashion.com xxx
ReplyDeleteOk one more: "When my wife told me she was leaving me due to my obsession with the monkees I thought she was joking....and then I saw her face"
ReplyDeleteQ: What did 0 say to 8?
ReplyDeleteA: Nice belt!
For_Kate@Live.co.uk
What's brown and sticky?
ReplyDeleteAnswer - A stick
email address is juliedee4663@hotmail.com
DeleteWhat do you get if you sit under a cow?
ReplyDeleteA pat on the head!
rhubarbra@hotmail.com
Aimee x
ps. following via GFC and rss :)
DeleteI asked a Scottish lady "Were you a spotty teenager?" She replied "Ac ne!"
ReplyDeleteWhy did the hedgehog cross the road? To visit his flatmate. Hahaha gets me every time. Even though I LOVE hedgehogs :)
ReplyDeleteI follow via Bloglovin'
imogen(dot)roth(at)gmail(dot)com
Whats a pirates favourite letter?
ReplyDelete"arggh"
I follow your blog @jen1984j
Hi my boyfriend was in Edinburgh thought out the weekend and I have asked to walk past the Gorge Square Gardens so he could pick up a goody bag for me since I couldn't be there but when he got there they said that they are not giving away any
ReplyDeletecomplimentary 'make-uppers' or goodie bags... ? I'm just a bit disappointed because I was hoping for one after reading this post and I was so excited that my boyfriend was able to pick one up but they weren't doing that ? :( xx
Hello! :) I'm really sorry, but I'm afraid I don't actually know much about the process - I haven't even had time to go to the Benebus myself yet! I would imagine that the Benefit ladies would only be able to give makeuppers and goodie bags to people that turned up to the Benebus in person, otherwise they would potentially have to give out hundreds of goodie bags to people who hadn't even gone to festival! I know it's a bit disappointing, but I suppose it's only fair! x
DeleteWhat did the cake say to the knife?
ReplyDeleteDo you want a piece of me?
clare davies x_nemo_x@btinternet.com - following under x_x_clare_x_x my twitter name
A white horse walks into a pub and orders a pint. The barman says, "Hey, there's another pub down the road named after you!". The horse turns to him and says, "What, there's a pub named Kev?!"
ReplyDeletecatgoesmrow@gmail.com
I follow your blog through Bloglovin.
Ah, I literally had no idea about this and I'm still looking for decent things to go and see so I'll probably head along. Living in the burgh during the festival definitely has its benefits :p
ReplyDeletexo
How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Poke-im-on... ahem.. :/ hahah
ReplyDeleteI follow you on GFC.
Contact: @LooweezBx on twitter
Why did the chicken dating agency go bankrupt?
ReplyDeleteBecause they couldn't make ends meet.
What do you get if you Batman and Robin get crushed by a huge rock?
ReplyDeleteFLATMAN and RIBBON!
man goes into a bar and two workmen are already there at the bar, one of the workmen says to the other 'oy donkey get me a pint' and goes off to the loo, while he is gone the man asks the workman why he calls him donkey and he says 'ewawww ewawww ewallways calls me that'
ReplyDeleteWhy did the mushroom go to the party?
ReplyDeleteBecause he was a @fun gi!
Jenny heard milk baths will make her beautiful so asks the milkman for 120 pints of milk. The milkman thinks there's a mistake so says, "Do you mean 12 pints?" Jenny answers, "No, I want 120, I’m going to fill my bath with milk." "Pasteurised?" asks the milkman. "No," Jenny says, "Just past my boobs."
ReplyDeleteI follow via bloglovin and gfc.
chocolateeclaire441@hotmail.com
Two fish in a tank, one says to the other, "how do you drive this thing?"
ReplyDeleteGejd@sky.com
'I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.'
ReplyDeletemillyyoungman@gmail.com
What do you call 2 lines of cabbages?
ReplyDeleteA dual cabbage way...
Favourite.
Joke.
Ever.
sandsferguson@hotmail.co.uk
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.
ReplyDeletesr72comps[at]gmail[dot]com
@tweetingcompa
Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella?
ReplyDeleteFor the Drizzle
ha!
Following GFC
Whats orange and sounds like a parrot?
ReplyDelete.... A carrot!
macca-girl@hotmail.co.uk
I love cheese jokes...
ReplyDeleteWhat do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
I'll definitely need to check out the Benebus! I'm following on GFC & my email is thisisjuliet@gmail.com x
it's abit of a long one........
ReplyDeletehow do you get a giraffe in the fridge in three steps? - open the door, put him in, shut the door.
how do you put an elephant in the fridge in four steps? - open the door, take the giraffe out, shut the door
all the animals in the kingdom are having a party, which animal doesn't come? the elephant, because he's still in the fridge
on the way to the party, you come across a crocodile infested lake, how do you get across? just swim because all the crocodiles are at the party!!!
kellieexx@hotmail.co.uk
I was using my laptop on a boat the other day, but I accidentally dropped it into the sea.
ReplyDeleteNow it's a Dell, rolling in the deep.
stacey.bone@hotmail.co.uk
Following you via GFC: Lisa
ReplyDeleteHow does an elephant hide in the jungle? He paints his privates red, and climbs up a cherry tree.
lisarowsell@yahoo.co.uk
I could never kill a spider in the bath....I wait 'til his guard is down and he's blow-drying his hair afterwards
ReplyDeleteAlready following you via GFC :)
rachelprior21@gmail.com xx
slourobinson at gmail.com
ReplyDeleteA man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question.
As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman
beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They
are both quite startled.
The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as
your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436.
my fave (silly) joke
ReplyDeleteWhat's pink & fluffy..
Pink fluff
seastham83@live.co.uk
Went to the zoo. There was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu.
ReplyDeletelaurenhine564@hotmail.com
Great blog :) glad I found it!
Thanks for the giveaway and the wonderful blog - amilucky2(at)tiscali(dot)co(dot)uk
ReplyDeleteLaura following you on GFC.
ReplyDeletewhatlauradidxo@gmail.com
How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You Pokemon.
Where does the one legged waitress work?
ReplyDeleteThe Ihop :)
Following via gfc
nadiamitab@gmail.com
Im rubbish at jokes but my 8yo sons favourite is
ReplyDeleteWhere do you find a dog with no legs/
Where you left him
Cheesy but he always makes me laugh
I will tell you the joke that has made me laugh most in the whole of my life ever.
ReplyDelete'There were two pies in the oven, one pie turned to the other one and said "phew! it is hot in here!" the other pie turned around and said..."OH MY FUCKING GOD A TALKING PIE!"
looooooooooolllllleeeerrrrskaaaateees
x
OH AND ALSO.
ReplyDeleteWhat did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? 'Get in the car, Robin.'
AHAHAHAHAHA.
This is one of my favourite jokes:
ReplyDeleteSo there's this nun, taking a bath, and a knock comes on the door. She says, "Who is it?" And the reply comes, "It's the Blind-Man, can I come in?" She thinks for a minute and says, "Yes, alright then. Come in." So this chap comes in and says, "Nice tits; where do you want me to hang the blind?" lol
Clairabelle0306@hotmail.co.uk
I bought 2 litres of Tippex last week - BIG MISTAKE!
ReplyDeleteFollowing your blog, @TrishO1
What do you call a man with no shins?
ReplyDeleteTony! Hahahahaha Xx
http://thefuturesginger.blogspot.co.uk/
Whats big red and eats rocks ? A big red rock eater ( thats my child friendly fave) ORRRRR
ReplyDeleteI went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog! It was a shitzu :(
I daren't go with any of the rude ones my boyfriend is reciting sat next to me!
hannahroza-lyn@hotmail.co.uk
oxoxoxo